Our trip to see Amma

As I mentioned in my last post, the author, Ted Zeff, is a follower of Amma and he mentions her a few times in his below mentioned book along with the healing power of touch & hugs for those with SPD.

We had seen a news piece on Amma; her teachings, message of unconditional love, hugging millions of people around the world and saying prayers for them. It sure sounded cool – someone selflessly going around hugging everyone spreading a message of love & hope. After more research we decided to experience it for ourselves & receive Amma’s Darshan (blessing) since she was going to be only a couple hours away.

We arrived early, received our token, and waited in line for about an hour and a half before being let into a large conference room barefoot. Once inside they had everyone gather and sit on the floor in lotus pose, preparing for Amma’s arrival and the start of a group meditation. My husband and I sat rather close to Amma’s center spot, while my mother, having knee problems, sat further back in a chair. There was a quiet but exciting buzz in the room. Some of her followers are a bit overzealous. Telling us that Mother knows all, sees the future, she will heal all, we will become followers and see her yearly once we receive her love & hug. I will admit I was kind of freaking out thinking what did we get ourselves into, is this some kind of cult? But once Amma entered the room, you could feel such a warm, positive energy, such excitement, and a low vibration. It was strange but neat. Amma radiates a peaceful glow and is very beautiful – pictures do not do her justice. Once she was seated they began the group meditation with a large stretched out Om chanted by all – which was so cool because you could feel this sound, the vibration was so intense, felt like it penetrated your entire body, fingers, toes, hair. Even my husband, who does not have any type of SPD issues, said he felt it quite strongly. It was amazing. So once the meditation was over they have people get in two lines in front of Amma. You kneel and crawl forward as you wait for your turn. My mom again having knee trouble was able to go first in a line for disabled people and she was not required to kneel or crawl, was able to sit in chairs and then stand/bend over for her embrace. I watched as she was hugged and they say Amma may offer extra prayers, hugs, etc if she feels inclined to do so and with my mom she grabbed her a second time and hugged her hard, praying for her. My mom started crying uncontrollably and said it was a very emotional experience for her and she doesn’t know why it made her cry. But it had an impact on her and she still talks about it. I started feeling anxious, not knowing what to expect or how I would feel. Then it was our turn. As we crawled forward, I felt so nervous, wondering will this make me cry like it did my mom? As we hit the front of the line, they take your token and you are guided forward into Amma’s arms. You lie across her lap kind of with your head to the side facing away from her on her shoulder and she wraps her arms firmly around you. In my hand Amma placed a flower, some candy, and hugged me deeply while rocking me and beginning a Hindu prayer I made a note of to remember, so I could look up what it meant later. Now my husband and I shared the same experience during our individual embraces – it felt like a boost of positive energy, and our minds went completely blank – no thoughts, no anxiety, everything went away – sounds, smell, time. At the time it felt as though I went limp in her arms and became a happy blob. I was the only one to receive the prayer I did, I don’t believe she said a prayer out loud for my husband, but said a different one for my mom. When I was home I looked it up and amazingly it applied to me, my situation at the time and a problem I was having.

When she is finished you are guided to the side where you can sit, reflect, recover, before being urged to the back of the room to peruse her store, pray in the empty seats or on the side of the room, to the cafeteria for a Vegetarian lunch with water blessed by Amma, elsewhere to wait for one of her other programs (yoga, meditation, etc.), to watch others being embraced, or to leave if you wish. We visited her store and purchased a few items – a sandalwood mala, prayer card, and I bought a silver OM pendant blessed by Amma. Then we headed to the cafeteria for the lunch, which was impressively good. If I recall correctly, it was Dal, a lentil curry, with rice and vegetables.

Now having SPD, I had some concerns about this entire experience beforehand, one of which was germs – yes, I am a germaphobe and seeing video of Amma’s shoulder completely stained with tears, dirt, oil from many people was alarming, which is why we were one of the first to arrive – I wanted to be one of the first ones in contact with her to avoid germs as much as I could. lol Another concern was the energy of so many people, the noise, the smells. I do recall there being some light scent of incense or sandalwood, but not enough to bother me more than passing irritation. Everyone was instructed to be quiet and meditate or pray while waiting, so it was rather quiet the entire time, I think overall we were there 4 or 5 hours. The energy in the room and from everyone was amazing – it was positive & bright the entire time, without being overstimulating. I would go again to explore the experience more, and in this day and age, who couldn’t use unconditional love, a blessing, prayers, or a hug?! Does it make me want to become a regular follower, no.

Anyway, this was a memorable, positive experience. Sometimes, having SPD I back out of plans, hide from overstimulation, but sometimes, I have to remind myself to get out and experience new things even if a little scary; sometimes they are valuable and full of insight.

My Story, Part 2

As far back as I can remember, I’ve always been a picky eater. I didn’t know why, I just knew I did not like to eat anything but mainly two things. Now I understand it is & was because certain textures make me sick...anything bumpy, wet, mushy, slimy eg; cottage cheese, custard, wet eggs, browned eggs, flan, tapioca, soft cheeses, squash, quiche, dishes with corn kernels in it, Greek yogurt, meat.

I am hypersensitive to light, but not as much as the other senses. Flashing lights, dim lights, colored lights, strong light; sun or artificial hurt my eyes & head and make me feel sick.

I don’t like to be touched. I am very ticklish and jumpy. If you touch certain parts of my body I feel them elsewhere. If someone needs to touch me (doctor, dentist, etc.) they have to do it firmly or it tickles or hurts. I don’t like things; shoes, blankets, etc. on my feet, I can’t stand anything on my neck like turtlenecks, scarves, or jewelry. I buy t-shirts that are tag-less. I hate my face being touched by hands, hair, or anything else. I hate wearing restrictive, rough, or big seamed clothing and whenever I get home I will rip off my clothes and put on loose, cotton clothing. I hate putting my hands in water and I hate the feeling of dry skin –on me or others.

I am very sensitive to energy and cannot be around more than a few people for long. I feel weighed down, zapped of energy, sick, and disoriented from others’ energy, busy décor, negative moods, or environments. I cannot watch the news because it is so negative and draining. I don’t watch violent movies. I only listen to happy upbeat but not too energetic music in the car. I am especially sensitive to the moon when it is near being & full - even though I don’t follow its cycle, I can always feel it around that time - I feel & sometimes hear buzzing.


I am a super light sleeper and kept awake by the clock ticking, the refrigerator kicking on in the kitchen, the heat coming on.

Chemicals and materials give hives, rashes, headaches. I have odd reactions to elastic, adhesives, nylon, etc. Many soaps, food preservatives, aluminum also give reactions.

I get overheated easily and flush, feel faint, dizzy, panic. Then come the hives, itching, flushing, disorientation, headache.

My sense of hearing is super strong and I often hear things others don’t. I cannot tune out things like ticking clocks and watches (which is why I never wear a watch), background music, far away conversations, or someone chewing.

Someone who has never heard of SPD or has not experienced it may think it is crazy and at times it sure feels like it. It doesn’t make sense, it hurts, it makes daily life a struggle. Things you aren’t even aware of can make you cry, hurt, get sick, angry, dizzy, itchy, withdraw and you don’t always know why.

For instance, my entire life I have never liked showering but do it often daily because it is expected, needed, clean. I almost always cry during or after and hurt, feel irritated, and worn out after a shower. I never knew why and never really thought about it. After learning of SPD, I’ve come to realize showers completely overwhelm one's senses. I am overstimulated by the noise of the exhaust fan, the counter fan, the running water, the heat & temperature change from the water & getting out of the shower, smells from toothpaste, soap, shampoo, make-up, lotion, towels, the touch of the toothbrush, soap, shampoo, razor, towels, make-up brushes, comb, applying lotion. One who is not sensory defensive cannot comprehend, heck even I didn’t realize, how many senses and nerve endings are involved and get overwhelmed in such a normal activity.